


Keeping Caleb

by TuppingLiberty



Series: Organa's Organics [24]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Child Abandoment, Lost Kid, M/M, Referenced Sexual Assault, Referenced Suicide Attempt, fostering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6454366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuppingLiberty/pseuds/TuppingLiberty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While the Smith-Damerons are at the Farmer's Market celebrating Finn's birthday, they come across a lost little boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting Caleb

“Happy birthday Daddy!” Amelia’s yell as she burst into the room woke both Finn and Poe up, Finn bolting upright, his heart pounding. He willed himself to relax his fatherly instincts.

“Morning, sweet pea.” Finn mumbled, yawning, as Amelia was climbing onto the bed and Poe was still processing the change from asleep to awake. To Amelia’s credit, it _was_ light outside.

Finn felt Poe’s arm wrap around his shoulders as he finally pulled himself up to a seated position. Poe’s warm voice was somewhere in the vicinity of his ear. “What do you think, Amelia? Should we eat breakfast here or get something from a food cart at the market?”

Finn burst out laughing as Amelia’s face immediately lit up with enthusiasm and Finn was sure she was going to say ‘food cart,’ but then she very obviously schooled her face into a serene expression and looked at him. “Daddy should get to choose, it’s his birthday.”

His little girl - _already a first grader, how? -_ was growing up. “Well then, I think we should all have a snack here, just one cheese stick, Amelia, don’t give me that face, and then we can go eat at the market, too.”

“What’s the status on Aunt Jess, Auntie Rey, and Meghan?  Any of them awake yet?” Poe asked Amelia, who had a sixth sense for that kind of thing.

“I heard voices in the guest bedroom but I don’t think Meghan’s up yet.” Amelia was scooting off the bed, heading toward the door. “I’ll go brush my teeth and get dressed!”

“Was that really our little girl?” Finn’s voice was filled with a kind of amazement.

“Definitely still Amelia. I can tell because she blocked you from getting your birthday head this morning.” Poe placed a quick kiss on his cheek as Finn groaned in disappointment.

Finn threw back the covers and got out of the bed, shuffling toward the master bathroom. He was part way through shaving when Poe came in, shutting the door behind him and locking it. Finn raised an eyebrow, pulse already picking up a bit at the look on Poe’s face. He hurriedly toweled his face off, turning to lean against the counter as Poe caged him in.

“I think I bought us some time for our birthday tradition after all. Rey’s taking care of Amelia. But you’re going to have to stay quiet.” Poe was already lowering to his knees, hooking fingers under the waistband of Finn’s boxers. He looked up at Finn, biting his lip, and the sight of Poe’s mouth so near him made Finn instantly hard. “Think you can do that, baby?”

Finn nodded, words having completely left him. Poe chuckled. “Yeah, right.” As he applied his mouth to the task, Finn found himself agreeing with his husband.

\--------------------------

The Farmer’s Market was already bustling by the time they got there. Meghan steered Jess away to show her something, and probably to catch up, as Rey and Jess had showed up for Finn’s birthday weekend late the night before. Poe was immediately stopped by a colleague, some question about water tables and late autumn pest control or something, which happened every week. For Poe, the market was more a time for social networking. Rey, Finn and Amelia thus partnered off, Amelia favoring Rey with her hand for the moment. They meandered once around the market, to see what was there that week, and ended in the line for breakfast burritos. Finn hooked an arm around Rey’s waist, and she smiled, leaning into him. “Hi, Trooper,” she said.

“Hi, Princess.” He didn’t get to see Rey nearly as often as he’d like to, one of the sacrifices he’d made in order to start a family. But she was his oldest friend, and it didn’t matter how long they’d been separated, they always came back together like this easily, without reservation. She’d been the first real family he’d had, and he hers, and neither time nor distance could change that.

When they had their burritos, Finn snagged a table in the small seating area, and noticed that Amelia was sizing up her burrito and then looking away, back and forth. Finally, she asked Finn, “Daddy, could you cut my burrito in half?”

“Sure, sweet pea.”

She took both halves of her burrito and walked a short distance in the direction she’d been looking, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll be right back Daddy, Auntie Rey.”

“Uh, does she normally do that?” Rey asked, sitting up a little straighter to follow Amelia’s progress.

“No.” Finn’s eyes traced the path of Amelia’s black pigtails, watching her stop in front of a park bench on which sat a little boy, smaller than Amelia. She pointed to the bench, the boy nodded, and Amelia sat down beside him. She offered him half of the burrito, and he seemed reluctant, but she insisted, and he broke, taking it from her and immediately biting off a healthy portion.

“Is that a friend from school?”

Finn shook his head, keeping an eye on his girl. “I’m not sure, but he looks too small. I don’t even remember Amelia being that small. Where are his parents?” The children were eating and chatting, although from here Finn could tell that Amelia was holding most of the conversation, and wasn’t that interesting? He took a bite of his own burrito, still watching the kids and scanning the adults to see if anyone was going to come claim the boy. He and Rey talked idly while they watched Amelia slowly charm the boy. Finally, Amelia took his empty wrapper, balled it up with hers, and held out her hand, nodding in Finn’s direction. The little boy nodded back, taking her hand, and they made their way to Finn and Rey.

“Daddy, Auntie Rey, this is Caleb,” Amelia started.

“Hi, Caleb,” Finn said quietly, so as not to scare the boy. Caleb had the caramel skin, soft brown curls, and angelic features of a mixed race child. At least, Finn thought he would, if he had a bath. Right now, the boy was pretty grubby, his hair greasy, his features scared.

Caleb didn’t reply, but looked at Amelia, who nodded. “Daddy, Caleb can’t find his mama.  Can we help?”

“Of course we can do that,” Finn replied, standing. “Let’s start at Lost and Found.”

“Can I do anything?” Rey asked, urgently. She had a soft spot for children, for all that she and Jess had decided not to have any.

Finn grinned at her humorlessly. “Yeah, stick with me. If you’re here, maybe I won’t get accused of kidnapping.” Rey’s eyes widened at the thought, but she nodded. It had happened before with Amelia, sometimes at the park or the supermarket. Once, some busybody had called the police on him, though the police had politely listened to Amelia talk about her daddies long enough for them to get the picture. Finn took Amelia’s hand, and Amelia took Caleb’s, and Rey took Finn’s, taking her new job seriously.

Finn led them to the market administration booth, where he raised a hand in greeting. “Hey, Judith.”

A young African American woman looked up and smiled. “Hey Finn!” She came around the table and hugged him, then crouched. “Hi, Amelia, how are you this week?  Excited to be back in school? Who’s this?” Not pausing, Judith looked up at Finn. “Did you guys adopt again?” Finn liked Judith, because her outbursts could give Finn’s a run for his money.

“Uh, no, actually, Caleb seems to be lost. Has anyone reported a missing child?” Finn remembered the time he’d been separated from Amelia in Powell’s, and he and Poe had searched frantically, only to find her tucked up in a random corner with a book. Or when Meghan had taken the train to Washington. He hoped he could save someone else the same panic and heartache.

“Uh oh, sweetie. When did you last see your parents?”

“Mama,” the boy corrected, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

“Okay,” Judith said easily. “When did you last see your mama?” The boy pointed in the direction they’d come, which was more a where than a when, and Finn wondered exactly how young Caleb actually was. Judith turned around, grabbing a radio. “Hey, Jasmin, we’re going to see where he last saw his mom. If anyone comes to report a missing kid, radio me.”

They set off, still connected by hands, and Caleb led them back to the bench where Amelia had fed him. “Mama told me ‘stay here.’” He climbed back up on the bench, tugging Amelia up with him.

“How long ago was that?” Judith asked, and Finn shook his head. They weren’t going to get an answer out of him that made any sense. To toddlers, ten minutes and five hours were both an eternity.

Finn was proven right when Caleb answered, “long, like, five minutes.” Caleb had been in Finn’s sight for the last 20 minutes.

Finn turned to his daughter. “When did you first see him here, Amelia?”

“When we first walked in, he was sitting here. And then I saw him while you were looking at bread. He was asking the baker for something to eat, and the baker made him go away.”

Caleb began crying in earnest now. He said a jumble of words, Finn making out “sorry,” “bench,” “hungry,” and “baker.” Caleb took a small breath. “Mama said, wait here, watch the people set up.”

Finn exchanged a look with Judith. The booths set up early in the morning. If Caleb had been here since then, he’d been alone for hours now. “Caleb, how did you get to the market this morning?”

“Mama brought me.”

“Did you guys walk from your house? Did you take the bus? Were you in a car?” Finn asked calmly, while inside his blood was beginning to run cold. Who didn’t report a child missing for hours?

Caleb nodded. "A car.”

“Do you remember which direction that was?” Caleb nodded, and they began walking again.

Finn turned to Rey, and lowered his voice so the kids wouldn’t hear. “Hey, can you tell Poe what we’re doing, maybe find Jess and Meghan? I’m not sure what’s going on, but I don’t think it’s going to be good.”

“Sure, trooper,” she replied, looking relieved to be given a mission, and she peeled off from the group.

Caleb led them down the block, where he stopped at a beat up Honda hatchback. “This is my car.”

Finn peered inside, where it became incredibly clear that someone, or Finn supposed, at least two someones, had been living. The car was empty of Caleb’s mama or anyone else, though. Judith exchanged a knowing look with him. “I think we need to call the police.” She spoke low, but Caleb still overheard, and broke free from Amelia’s hand.

“No police! They mean! No, no, no!” He began to run away from them, and Finn, terrified that he’d run right into the street, caught up with him quickly and bundled him into his arms, kicking and screaming. “No! No! No! No!” Caleb continued to shout, beating Finn with tiny fists, but Finn had him locked in his arms.

“Do it,” Finn said to Judith above Caleb’s struggles, as Amelia looked on with an anxious expression on her face.  Judith turned away, pulling out a cellphone. “It’s going to be okay.” Finn tried to soothe both Caleb and Amelia, maybe himself, too. “It’s going to be okay,” he repeated, making a shushing sound and rocking Caleb in his arms. He began to hum, some melody he’d heard Poe play, and it worked, Caleb quieting his squirming, instead burying his head in Finn’s chest and sobbing. The boy really was so tiny, and smelled like he’d had an accident, or several. As Finn loosened his grip, ran his hand down the boy’s back, he realized that no, Caleb was still in diapers. “Amelia, see if the door is open. Caleb needs a new diaper.”

Amelia tried the door and it popped open. She was used to helping Elisa with Luis, and stuck her head in, wrinkling her nose a bit. “I don’t see any diapers, Daddy.”

He didn’t really want Amelia to climb in and search, so he replied, “It’s okay, sweet pea. I’ll figure something out.”

He almost cried out in relief when he saw Poe striding up to them. Judith turned around at the same time, delivering her news. “The po- the people will meet us here.”

“What’s going on?” Poe asked, stopping by Finn’s side and peering down at Caleb, who was still burrowing into Finn’s t-shirt.

“Did Rey explain?”

“What she knew.”

“Do me a favor? Call Avery and put it on speaker phone,” Finn said, referring to the Child Protective Services caseworker that had worked both Amelia and Meghan’s cases. “I can explain to both of you at the same time.”

To Avery’s credit, she arrived minutes after the police did, right in the middle of the second freakout Caleb had had, this one triggered by the sight of the cop car and uniforms. Instead of beating Finn or trying to struggle and run away, though, Caleb flattened himself against Finn, trying to be as close to him as possible while he went into hysterics. Finn was relieved when Avery showed up dressed in casual clothes, flashing her CPS ID at the uniforms, who’d stepped back and given Finn room. One of them had knelt, and was showing Amelia a magic trick involving money appearing out of her ear, which Amelia thought was amazing. Rey, Jess, and Meghan had arrived, and were quietly conversing with the other cop to give Caleb time to calm down.

“I’m supposed to bring you cases, guys, not the other way around,” Avery said by way of greeting to Finn and Poe.

“This is Caleb,” Finn replied, angling his body so she could see the part of the boy’s face that wasn’t buried in Finn’s shirt.

“Hey, Caleb. My name’s Avery. How about we sit down over there, give Finn a rest?” Avery nodded to some steps leading up to a duplex.

“Finn comes? And Amelia?” Caleb mumbled against Finn's chest.

“Sure thing.” Avery and Finn walked to the stairs, and Finn eased Caleb slowly away from his body, to sit him on a step between he and Avery.  Poe brought Amelia over. “Can Poe stay?” Avery asked Caleb. He nodded. Amelia held out her hand, and Caleb grabbed it. Poe sat to block Caleb’s view of the street, and the cops, and Finn noticed that one of the officers used that positioning to move close enough to be able to listen and take notes without freaking Caleb out again. Finn, Amelia and Caleb repeated their story, Caleb adding the detail that he’d never been here before, that last night they’d slept by the water somewhere.

“Caleb, will you stay here with Amelia for just a moment?” Avery pulled Poe and Finn a few feet away, and Finn noted that Meghan went over to join Amelia now, introducing herself. He had such good girls.

The officer who had been taking notes came to join the circle, and he spoke first. “We need to take him into the station, see if he’s ever been fingerprinted for one of those anti-kidnapping campaigns.”

Avery nodded. “I don’t think he’ll go without Finn and Amelia. He’s latched himself on pretty well there.”

“What’s going to happen?” Poe asked, upset showing in his eyes though his voice was cool and calm.

“My partner ran the plates, so we most likely have a name and description. Finding a specific woman among the transient population of Salem is going to be difficult, but we can put out an APB for her,” the officer replied.

“But what if they don’t find her today? Or what if they find her, and…” Finn trailed off, unwilling to voice the idea that Caleb’s mom was dead somewhere. “What will happen to Caleb tonight?”

Avery responded. “I’ll find a foster situation for him. Even if we do find the mom today, there’s going to have to be an investigation. Caleb’s not going to be able to avoid a little fostering.”

Finn exchanged a look with Poe, willing him to be using his psychic marriage powers to pick on on his drift. “We’re foster parents. I mean, we’re still certified.” Poe nodded, and Finn felt a surge of love and gratefulness in him. He reached out and Poe grabbed his hand, squeezing.

Avery looked at them sharply. “You know it’s not the same, Finn. Fostering. It’s just temporary. You guys won’t get to keep Caleb, I mean, if everything goes well, like we should all want it to, you don’t get to keep him. He doesn’t get to join your family.” Finn and Poe were silent. “Listen, let’s go to the station, see if we can match up all of our information and get an ID on him. It’ll give you time to think about it.”

The group broke up, Finn and Poe moving to talk to Jess and Rey. “Poe and I are going to have to go to the station, probably along with Amelia, if Caleb wants her and she’s willing. But could you guys take Meghan and do a little shopping run for us? At the very least he could use diapers and a new set of clothes. I’d guess he’s two and a half, maybe three. I don’t know, he seems a little bigger than Luis and a little smaller than Amelia when we first met her.” Not knowing Caleb’s size was apparently the last thing Finn needed to set off his frustration, and his hands clenched into fists. “God damn it.”

Rey took his hands, pressing down on the knuckles to get him to loosen the fists. She looked him in the eyes. “We’ll do it, Finn. It’s going to be okay.”

Jess nodded succinctly. “Hey, on the clothes, we’ll buy what we think looks a little big.” Rey smiled at her, and they collected Meghan and took off.

Convincing Caleb to go with Avery in her car took about twenty minutes. In the end, Finn had to agree to ride in the back seat with him, where Caleb could keep an eye on him from his car seat. He watched Poe strap Amelia into hers, and they both followed the officers to the police station. Caleb was shaking at the sight of the station by the time Finn unstrapped him from his seat. He held Caleb close, absorbing the vibrations from the little body.

“Poe, can you grab my hoodie?” Finn called to his husband, after Poe helped Amelia climb out of the car. Amelia’s face brightened and she leaned back in, grabbing the hoodie herself and bringing it over.

“Here you go, Daddy!”

“Thank you, sweet pea, you’re such a good helper,” Finn murmured, Amelia grinning up at him with a pleased expression. He used the hoodie to cover Caleb. “There you go, little man, you’re safe now.” He hoped that blocking Caleb’s sight would calm him down, and the vibrations did seem to lessen.

Avery asked them to wait in the lobby, and when she returned, she brought along a middle-aged Latino man in civilian clothing. “Detective Hernandez has a place we can take Caleb that will be a little less scary for him while we get his fingerprints.” Finn nodded, grateful.

The detective led them to a room with two couches and some chairs. He began to shut the blinds so the bullpen beyond was cut off from sight. “It’s an interview room,” he explained, “for when we don’t need the handcuffs and the steel table and the two way mirror.” He smiled at them.

Finn uncovered Caleb, who took a peek around the room, and Finn felt him relax marginally against his chest.

“Hey, little buddy. My name’s Fred. How do you feel about doing a little finger painting?” Detective Hernandez said to Caleb.

“Ohhhh, Daddy, can I do some finger painting too?” Amelia squealed, tugging on Poe’s hand.

“Sure, girlie. Let’s do you first, so you can show your buddy here that it’s fun.”  The detective sat Amelia down and showed her all of the fingerprinting supplies. “Now, outside, I’ve got a big machine that can taken digital fingerprints so you don’t have to get ink on your hands.  But we’re going to do this the old fashioned way today.”

Finn sat beside them, and slowly, Caleb leaned away from his body to get a better view of what Amelia was doing. For her part, Amelia was having a grand time, giggling and oooing over her prints, and holding up her fingers to show her daddies, and really, Finn couldn’t have asked her to put on a better performance. By the time Detective Hernandez was done with her fingers, Caleb had climbed off of Finn’s lap and was standing, waiting for his turn.

Finn took advantage of the free time to cross the room to Poe. He didn’t need to ask Poe for reassurance that this was all okay, he could read it on his husband’s face. But he did need to ask one thing. “Do you think we’ll be able to do it? Give him up when we have to?”

“I’ll be honest, it will probably break my heart,” Poe replied. Finn nodded. The truth was, they both knew about themselves that they gave their hearts to children in need very quickly. Avery was probably right that a traditional foster situation would wreck them.  Poe took a deep breath as he watched Amelia high five Caleb with their inky fingers. “But if we give him up, make him go to someone else, someone he doesn’t know…”

“Logically, I know that Avery’s going to find the best placement she can for him. But what if that’s us?”

“I think we should talk to the girls, especially Amelia, before we make a decision,” Poe reasoned. Finn nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.

Detective Hernandez stood, saying to the adults, “I’ll go get this stuff processing. It’s going to take longer because it’s actual ink.”

“How long?”

“A few hours. We’ve got the APB out, but this might help us locate other family. It’s kind of a long shot, though,” the detective warned before exiting. Avery stepped out to make some phone calls.

Poe turned back to the kids. He reached into the messenger bag one of them always carried with Amelia’s emergency medical supplies and pulled out a pack of cards. “Okay, who wants to play Go Fish?”

Amelia’s eyes lit up and she clapped, turning to Caleb to say, “Oh, this is so fun, you’re going to love it.”

But when Finn sat down, Caleb immediately climbed back into his lap. “How about Caleb and I play on a team, okay sweet pea?” Finn replied.

It wasn’t too much longer before Rey, Jess and Meghan arrived, bearing supplies. “Okay,” Rey said, huffing out a breath, “One outfit, we went with a 3T. And there was a lady in the diaper aisle, when we described Caleb’s size, she thought these would work.” She set down the shopping bag and sat in a chair. “Go Fish, huh?”

Finn grabbed the bag, swinging Caleb to his hip. “Hey, Caleb, we’re going to go by the police officers. Do you want me to put the hoodie back on you?” Caleb shook his head. “Okay, we’re going to see if we can clean up a bit.”

“I’ll come with,” Poe offered, taking the shopping bag from Finn as Finn nodded.

The moment they stepped outside the room, Caleb buried his face in Finn’s shirt again.  Finn flagged down the nearest officer. “Hey, do you guys have a shower or a big sink, anything like that?”

“Uh, there’s a shower in the locker room. Some sinks in there, too.” He pointed a direction, and Finn thanked him.

Finn was grateful to find that the shower had a built in soap dispenser. “Okay, Caleb, it’s not going to be the best, but it’ll work.” Poe got the water going as he began to strip the boy, leaving the clothes in a pile on the floor, a dead loss. Underneath, he discovered that Caleb was wearing a diaper fashioned out of a cloth onesie, and he stripped that off too, adding it to the pile. Considering the shower, he decided to take his t-shirt off, since it would definitely also need to be washed now.

Finn picked Caleb up and put him in the shower, Poe handing him handfuls of liquid soap down from the tall dispenser, and he scrubbed away the layer of grime, the mess from his diaper, the grease in his hair. Caleb withstood it remarkably well, even turning his face up into the spray and smiling a bit. “Fun!” he said when he looked back at Finn.

Poe shut the water off and Finn realized he had a problem. “Shit, a towel.”

“Shit,” Caleb repeated, and Finn’s eyes bulged as Poe searched around the room for something to use and laughed at Finn.

Caleb was beginning to shiver when Poe exclaimed, “Here!” and tossed him a small hand towel he’d found on a bench.

“Sorry, little man. This’ll have to do,” Finn murmured as he gently dried Caleb off, wrapping Caleb’s springy hair up in a twist that made Caleb giggle. “‘Kay, diaper me!” Poe handed him a diaper, and Finn was suddenly grateful for the practice he’d gotten babysitting Luis. “Clothing,” Finn said, and soon Caleb was dressed in little blue sweatpants and a top that said, ‘I have the best aunt.’ Finn burst out laughing as soon as he saw it. “Who do you think chose it, Rey or Jess?”

“I think whomever did, it shows they support us no matter what,” Poe said as he handed Finn a pair of socks. When Finn himself shivered in the air conditioning, pants slightly wet from the shower, Poe unbuttoned his shirt and offered it to him, leaving Poe in just a white tank. One of the advantages of marrying a man about the same height as you, Finn mused, was being able to share clothes in a pinch.

Being clean had a sedative effect on Caleb, and by the time they returned to the interview room, he was struggling to keep his eyes open. Finn laid him down on one of the couches, and he curled into a little ball around himself and shut his eyes.

Finn leaned over to give Rey a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you so much,” he whispered. “Would you and Jess mind staying here while we talk to Meghan and Amelia?”

“Anything, Finn, you don’t even have to ask,” Rey whispered back.

“I know, that’s why I love you, princess.”

Poe and Finn took the girls outside, where the strolled along the sidewalk for a bit. Finn wasn’t really sure how to start the conversation, but of course Amelia beat him to the punch. “Daddy, is Caleb going to come home with us?”

“Well, nugget, that’s why we brought you out here, to ask you guys,” said Poe. “If they can’t find Caleb’s mom, he’s going to need a place to stay.”

“Can he be my brother?  Molly has a brother but he’s older and she says he’s mean but maybe because Caleb’s little, he won’t be mean?”

Finn sucked in a breath. “Well…”

Meghan cut in this time. “He might have to go back, that's what they're worried about, Amelia,” she said bluntly, and Finn thought he could hear a tinge of anger in her voice.

“Back?” asked Amelia.

Meghan answered. “Back to his mom. Who left him alone for hours, starving-”

“We don’t know the circumstances,” Poe said calmly.

“Oh, screw that.” Meghan turned around, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk.

“He’d only go back to his mom if Avery said it was okay.” Finn tried to walk the line between defusing Meghan and making his explanation simple enough for Amelia. “She wouldn’t let him go back to a bad situation.”

“And how long did I have to stay in that group home before I took matters into my own hands?” Meghan’s eyes were shiny, and her anger made them savage.

“As much as we’d like to, we can’t just keep him,” Poe said. “There’s a process. He’s not a pet, abandoned in our driveway.”

Meghan threw her hands up in the air. “No, just abandoned!”

“Daddy?” Amelia was tugging on his pant leg.

“Yeah, Amelia?” Finn replied, as Meghan stopped pacing to look at her.

“So, until they find his mom, Caleb needs a place to stay.”

If only it were that simple. “Yeah.”

“Like Elisa and Snap and Luis needed a place to stay while their house got bigger, so they stayed with Nan and Nanalay.”

“Kind of, yeah.”

“Daddy, do you know why I gave Caleb half of my burrito?” Finn, Poe, and Meghan shook their heads. “Because you and Daddy told me, you told me, if you see someone that needs help, and you can help them, you should do it.  So if Caleb needs a place to stay, and we have a place to stay, we should do it, right?”

“And if they find his mom, and we never see Caleb again, you’ll be okay with that?” Poe asked.  Meghan scoffed.

“I’d be sad, but I’d be proud, too, ‘cause I did what you guys said.”

Even Meghan had nothing to say to that, although Finn knew she was still upset. She had every right to be; at the moment, Finn was having a hard time bringing himself around to the idea of being mindful of those ‘circumstances’ Poe mentioned.

As they began to walk back to the station, Poe pulled out his car keys. “Listen, it’s after 2. Why don’t Meghan and I go grab some sustenance for the rest of the troops.” Meghan nodded, stalking off to the car. “I’ll drive around a bit, let her vent it out,” he said quietly as he leaned in for a kiss.

“You’re the best, and I love you.”

Inside, Finn let Amelia play on his phone while Caleb continued his afternoon nap. Eventually Poe and Meghan returned with Hawaiian plate lunch for everyone, and they munched in silence. The smell of the food woke Caleb up, though, and he sat between Finn and Amelia, eating off of Finn’s plate with his hands.

Finally, Avery returned with Detective Hernandez. “No luck yet,” the Detective broke quickly to their eager faces. “But we found a file in a different jurisdiction that mentioned the mother having a kid about 12 months ago.  At the time, they estimated he was about a year.”

“He’s two? He’s only two?” _He’s only two, and she left him on a bench in the middle of a fucking farmer’s market?_

Detective Hernandez shrugged carelessly, and Finn wondered what other things he must have seen to be able to do so. “It’s our best guess.”

Avery checked her watch. “At this point, it would be best to move Caleb into a foster home.”

Finn looked at Poe. Finn had been the one to broach the subject earlier. Now he wanted Poe to confirm. “We want to take him with us, we will be happy to foster him temporarily.”

“Temporarily. You understand, right?” Avery asked, a worried look on her face.

“He needs a place to stay, and we have a place to stay,” Poe replied, smiling at Amelia as he said it.

“You know that I think you two are amazing parents, but-”

Finn reached out to put a hand on Avery’s shoulder. “We’ll be okay. We can do this.”

“Okay.” Avery released a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll go work the paperwork up, bring it to you at home?”

“Wait, we don’t have a car seat for him,” Finn said in a panic.

“We could go get one,” Jess offered, holding Rey’s hand.

“Yeah,” Rey agreed, “We could go get whatever you need."

“Okay, how about I take Caleb to my office in my car, you guys follow, and you two meet us there with a car seat?” Avery checked her watch again. “Maybe we can all get home before dark.”

They didn’t, of course. After the paperwork was cleared and everyone was situated in their proper car seat, the group realized that Caleb needed a place to sleep, and probably more clothes. The girls went a little wild in the clothing department, and Finn let them, figuring he’d keep the tags on everything and return whatever they didn’t use. They got him a little pop up crib, and some other items a frantic text sent to Elisa elicited as ‘necessary for a two year old.’ When they finally piled everything into the two vehicles, it was dark.

After Finn had coaxed Caleb into the house, he followed Amelia into the living room to meet Buli, and Poe grabbed Finn by the waist, pulling him into his embrace. “How was that for a normal Saturday? Happy birthday, babe.”

“God, I completely forgot,” Finn admitted.

“You know what this means?” Poe leaned in to place a kiss on Finn’s cheek.

“What?” Finn closed his eyes, enjoying the brief moment of relaxation.

“We’re going to have to do a do-over on your birthday. You’ll have to decide all over again what you want to do.”

Finn groaned, punishing Poe with a swat on the butt. “Don’t you dare.” They leaned in together, sharing a sweet kiss.

Bedtime proved a difficult affair. The only place the pop up crib would fit was in Poe and Finn’s bedroom, and though Finn doubted it could be less comfortable than sleeping in a car, Caleb was restless. It seemed he’d left behind his Sheepie, and he couldn’t go to sleep without his Sheepie, and he was making that well known to everyone in the house. Finn was trying to reason with him, pat his back, anything to get him to calm down, when Amelia brought in her stuffed lion, the one they’d bought her during her first weekend with them. “You can borrow Lion, Caleb. He’ll protect you from nightmares.”

The tears miraculously stopped flowing, and Caleb hugged Lion to his chest, hiccuping still. He lay down, sucking on his binkie. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and backed out of the room quietly.

\----------------------------

The next morning, Finn and Rey worked in the kitchen to prepare a big breakfast for everyone. They’d survived the night, and Finn felt like celebrating. He let everyone else think it was a celebration for his birthday.

As they sat around the table, eating eggs, bacon, and biscuits, the conversations were boisterous, and Finn found himself glancing down at Caleb to see if he was handling it okay.  He was, though Finn thought it was mostly because he was in awe.

The conversation came to a halt, though, when Finn’s phone rang. He didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?”

“Mr. Smith? This is Detective Hernandez. We’ve located Caleb’s mother.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: referenced suicide attempt, referenced sexual assault
> 
> Poe's POV

Poe wanted to hold onto his anger, to feel no sympathy for a woman who'd abandoned her child, despite what he'd said to Meghan yesterday. By the end of Detective Hernandez’s story, oh, he was angry alright, but not at Celia Stevens. No, by the time he'd heard everything, he was vibrating in his anger at…who? Who could he blame? All because of the way Detective Hernandez had very casually said that, without the kid, without Caleb, Celia’s story was all too typical for a veteran. Mental health issues, homelessness, suicide attempts, they were a plague among veterans, the detective explained. Poe didn't need this explanation. He may have been blacklisted from all veteran benefits after his less than honorable discharge, but he had squadmates that hadn't survived coming home. He'd had Leia and the farm, and he and Snap had helped each other, so he'd survived. He didn't need the explanation, but he was pissed at how casually Detective Hernandez gave it anyway.

“Having the kid probably compounded her problems,” the detective continued. They were in their living room, just Finn, Poe, and Hernandez. Jess and Rey had departed for Washington, and Finn had asked Meghan and Amelia to take Caleb upstairs to play while the detective was here.

Finn placed a hand on his knee, because of course he could sense the tension in Poe’s body. “Is she...okay? Er, will she be okay?” Finn asked tentatively.

“She's in a coma, right now. The rope broke after she had already passed out, and she was discovered by some good sams quickly. Faster than you guys found Caleb yesterday, actually, but she was a Jane Doe until this morning. The doctors haven't been able to determine what kind of damage the lack of oxygen did to her brain. Though honestly the fact that she’s alive is probably the best possible outcome already.”

Finn shuddered out a breath next to him. “Thank you for telling us. I know you didn’t have to do that.”

“Avery swore up and down by you guys, and Avery’s word holds a lot of sway with me, with the other guys in the department. She’s good at what she does.”

Finn nodded. “She is.”

“She’ll work with you guys, keep you posted from here, figure out what’s best for the kid.” It annoyed Poe that the detective didn’t call him Caleb. But maybe everything was destined to annoy Poe right now.

He held himself back as they rose, as Finn accompanied Hernandez to their front door. He turned away, not trusting himself to hold the venom in, and found himself moving to the window, gripping the windowsill as he stared out at the land. _His_ land, for all that most of what he could see from his window was owned by Leia. About a month ago, Leia had told him casually over tea that she was leaving him the farm, the land, the business, all of it. _‘I want to give it to the person who’s earned it,’_ she’d said, and when Poe had pushed her to talk about Ben, she’d simply changed the subject.

Out there he felt sure of himself, he knew what he was doing, and when, and knew what possibilities he wanted to explore. He had a five year plan, hell, a ten year plan for that land. Even last year, when he’d been in emotional turmoil over the possibility of his own death, the land had soothed him, because he knew it would continue to grow and bloom plentifully, even in his absence.

Finn moved beside him, covering one of his clenched hands on the windowsill, rubbing at Poe’s wedding ring, as was his habit. He knew Finn was going to ask, knew Finn _would_ ask now rather than letting it fester in Poe, knew Finn finally trusted him again to share, and not conceal. So he stepped in before his husband could, simply saying, “That could be me.”

He tore his gaze away from the fields and turned to Finn, saw that Finn understood perfectly, and wasn’t that just a further piece of the puzzle that had somehow miraculously formed to make sure that Poe didn’t end up another “all too typical” veteran? Of course Finn understood, he came from a military family after all, his best friend a pilot. “It’s not,” Finn said simply.

“Without Snap, without Leia, without this job...without you… that could be me.” He turned back to the land, seeing the possibilities, already adjusting his ten year plan. “Finn, regardless of what happens to Celia, or Caleb, I need to do something. Now that I can show my face at a veteran’s support group, or meeting, or hell, ice cream social, I need to do something. I had support and I survived. I want to- I need to help others survive, too. Somehow.”

“You know I’m 100% by your side, every step of the way.” Poe let Finn gather him into his arms, accepted the warm embrace as Finn touched his forehead to Poe’s. “Whatever your idea is, I’ll do whatever I can.”

They stood there, breathing in sync, until Meghan came down to get some water.

\----------------------------------------

Poe watched the machines that monitored Celia, that kept her alive for the moment. She was a tiny thing, engulfed by the hospital bed, and she looked so, so young. Practically still a teenager, even though her paperwork put her at twenty-three. Twenty-three, the age Finn had been when Poe first met him. He wondered where she'd served, if she'd been one of the countless women who'd been sexually assaulted in the military, if that was the root of her problems. He wondered why she had no family here, sitting by her side and holding her hand and talking her through her coma. He wondered, if Poe and Finn had taken her in when she was a kid, if they could have changed her trajectory.

Finn didn't know he was here, because while Finn could be understanding, he’d formed a strong attachment to Caleb already. Poe thought that maybe Finn would see it as a breach of loyalty to even visit Celia. To Finn, it was still black and white: she'd abandoned her son, relinquished her rights. Poe was caught in the gray.

He stopped a nurse. “Did she have anything on her when they found her?”

“Just the picture,” he replied, nodding at the table beside her bed. “The one that helped ID her, I guess.”

Poe moved to look at it. The photo was beat up from two years of being carried around. It featured Celia, looking even younger, her dark skin unhealthily pale, exhausted, looking down at the newborn Caleb as if she wasn't quite sure she was prepared for this. And maybe she hadn't been then, but on the back she'd written ‘My Caleb,’ so Poe liked to hope that at some point she'd cared for him, been able to see enough hope in Caleb that she’d seen a future for him even if she hadn’t seen a future for herself. _It could have been so much worse,_ Poe thought. _She could have taken Caleb with her._ Caleb certainly cared for her, which spoke to Poe, too. And his attachment to Finn made sense, now, as if he'd been innately seeking comfort from the closest person who reminded him of his mom, skin tone wise. Poe had to believe that Celia had loved Caleb, despite what she’d done.

Caleb’s status as their foster child was in stasis while Celia was in the coma. When she woke, if she woke, there’d be medical evaluations and psych evaluations and possible institutionalization. When she woke, if she woke, they - the doctors, Avery, Finn and Poe - would have to make a decision about Caleb seeing her. Poe knew when the time came that he’d throw his weight behind Celia; unlike the doctors, he’d seen Finn rock Caleb while he cried himself to exhaustion, begging for his mama. Was he going to advocate putting Caleb back in Celia’s care should she recover enough to do so? Not without extensive agreement from the experts. But a boy deserved to be able to visit his mother. He hoped that they wouldn't be taking Caleb to see his mom one last time as she lay in a hospital bed, machines keeping her alive until they wouldn't, until the hospital decided to stop wasting money on a homeless vet.

Poe tried to turn away from that thought as he turned away from Celia and headed home. He needed Finn, he needed to tell Finn he'd come. But as he stepped into the September sunshine, he realized he had another task. He drove to the parking lot that the farmer’s market was held in every Saturday, retraced the route to where the hatchback should have been. He pulled out his cellphone. “Detective Hernandez, this is Poe Dameron. Did the Stevens’ car get towed?”

“Hey Mr. Dameron. Yes, we impounded it when we found the mom.”

“Is there any way I could get into it?  Caleb really wants his stuffed toy, I think it would help make him feel better about being away from his mom.”

“We’ll have to have an officer there, make a log of anything you take, but yeah, that’s possible.” The detective rattled off an address, and Poe hung up.

The person in charge of the impound area handed him some gloves. “You might want these, never know what kind of stuff you’ll find in a hobo car.”

Poe nodded, suppressing the flare of annoyance at the guy’s terminology. He opened the hatch, beginning to work his way through the layers, looking for anything that looked remotely like a sheep. He came across a small bag of weed and rolling papers, but nothing harder, and Poe thought again that maybe she’d been trying to keep it together for the sake of Caleb. Keep it together until she couldn’t anymore. He finally found Sheepie in a little nest of blankets behind the driver’s seat. Seeing it, imagining Caleb laying there, thumb in his mouth and clutching the sheep, broke his heart. He was getting out with the stuffed toy when a small book caught his eye. It was a beat up journal, and quickly flipping through it revealed that Celia had written, a lot. He hesitated, knowing he probably shouldn’t violate her privacy, but if she was brain-dead, or damaged, what if this was the only words Caleb would ever have from his mother, when he was too old to remember her? Poe eyed the impound man, sitting back in his booth, and pocketed the book, unsure of how to explain why he was taking it otherwise. Then, he signed out the sheep, and finally headed back to Finn.

Finn had readjusted his work schedule so that what needed to be done could be done from home, just for a few weeks while they dealt with Caleb.  They didn’t want to expose Caleb to a lot of new faces at once, and so if Finn was needed in court, Poe took the time off of the fall farm work. Poe found Finn in his home office, getting paperwork done while Caleb napped in their room.  After Rey and Jess left, they’d tried to move Caleb’s pop up crib to the guest room, but Caleb had gone into hysterics at the thought of not sleeping near anyone. It made sense, considering the close quarters he’d been keeping with his mom.

Finn looked up at the sound of Poe’s footsteps, an engaged, studious look still on his face that Poe found incredibly endearing. With everything going on, sometimes Poe forgot that Finn loved his work, was absorbed by it. _Top of his class_ , Poe thought with pride. He couldn’t help himself, and leaned down to brush a kiss across the wrinkle in Finn’s forehead. He leaned a hip on Finn’s desk, taking the hand Finn offered.

“What are you doing home? Not that I’m complaining,” Finn said with a smile.

Out with it, then. “I went to see Celia.”

Finn’s brow furrowed again, and he pulled away from Poe, away from the desk, to stand and pace. “Why? I mean, was she awake? Is she talking? How come Avery didn’t call me? Is Caleb going to-”

“Finn.” Poe’s voice was quiet, but it stopped Finn’s flood of words. “She’s not awake. But I think we should take him to see her, before it’s too late. I’m not sure if she’s ever going to wake up. I needed to go see her, to try and understand…”

“Understand how she could abandon that precious child in the other room? Understand why she tried to kill herself?” Finn’s voice was tight, but he kept it low, aware of Caleb sleeping.

“Well, yes. And because, if it happens that she...that she doesn’t make it, and we keep Caleb, because we both know we want to keep Caleb, we’re going to have to help him understand, too, one day. He’s going to feel a lot of things about her, but we can’t help him feed into hate or anger.”

Finn was quiet, joining Poe to lean against his desk. “Do you? Understand?”

Poe gave a half shrug. “She loved him.” Finn made a little doubting sound. “I really think she did.  Or does. She could have- She could have killed him, too.”

Finn inhaled quickly, as if it was the first time he’d thought of it, and the thought was too painful to bear.

“Instead she dropped him off in a crowded area, full of fairly affluent people, comparatively. Full of families.”

Finn’s hands were gripping the edge of the desk tightly. “Visiting her in the hospital helped you understand this?”

Poe pulled the journal out of his pocket. “Reading this helped.” He passed it to Finn, who began to flip through it. “There’s a lot of rambling and references to the past that don't make a lot of sense. But she has lucid moments, too. Moments of talking about plans for the future, how she was going to survive with Caleb, what she was going to do to be able to provide for him.” They both turned at the sound of Caleb crying in the monitor, and Poe picked it up, lowering the volume. “I’ll go deal with Caleb. Read it, Finn.” As he left, he saw Finn sink back into his chair, open the journal again.

In their room, he put a smile on his face to greet Caleb. “Hey, buddy,” he said, lifting Caleb out of the crib and holding his little body in a close hug. He wondered if Caleb would take after his mom, stay small. “Time for a diaper change? We’re going to have to see about potty training, Cay.”

Caleb reached up to play with Poe’s short beard. “What’s a potty?”

Poe laughed a little. “Oh, you’ll find out soon enough.” He laid Caleb down on the bed, efficiently changed the diaper, and blew a raspberry on the boy’s exposed stomach.

Caleb erupted into giggles, grabbing into Poe’s beard. “Tickle! Tickle!” he screamed.

“I think you might give Amelia a run for her money on cutest Smith-Dameron,” Poe said as he picked Caleb up in his arms and carried him downstairs to the living room to play. They’d had to unearth Amelia’s box of old toys from the garage; Poe could be grateful for once that Finn was something of a pack rat. “That is, if you become a Smith-Dameron,” he murmured to himself as he sat on the floor, pulling out blocks and watching Caleb bang them together.

They were in the middle of building a tower together when Finn came down, handed the journal back to Poe. “I’m still angry,” he said, sitting on the couch.

Poe looked up from watching Caleb place another block. “I think that’s reasonable.”

“How are you so calm?”

“I’m not. I’m just angry at a different source. I’m angry that Celia or anyone like her could get into a situation so low that they feel their only way out is…” They were keeping their voices calm, conversational, so as not to disturb Caleb. But on the next part, Poe heard his voice break a bit. “Twice as many, Finn. Twice as many veterans commit suicide than the rest of the population. So yeah, I’m angry.”

They lapsed into quiet, and when Caleb offered a block to Finn, Finn slid down and joined them on the floor. “Did you have a good sleep, Caleb?” Finn asked, setting a block down on the top of the tower.

The little boy nodded. “I slept so long.” Caleb accidentally knocked the tower over, and it must have reminded him of something, because he looked up directly at Finn. “Finn, will I see mama now?”

Finn met Poe’s eyes over Caleb’s head. Though his lips were pursed tight, he nodded.

\------------------------------------

Caleb took seeing his mother in the hospital bed, hooked up to all of the machines, surprisingly well. Finn helped him crawl up into the bed with Celia, and they waited silently as Caleb seemed to melt into his mother. They let him lay there. When the doctor began to make noises about limiting visit time, though, Finn pulled him gently away from Celia, and he immediately went into a toddler rage, earning glares from everyone on the ICU floor. Finn and Poe glared back, but moved him away. Finn hugged him close, and Poe ran his hand over his hair and down his back as Caleb’s tears quieted to sniffles. “We’ll come back, Caleb,” Finn vowed.

Caleb was quiet in the backseat, except for the occasional whimper, but when they picked Amelia up from school, she managed to chatter enough at him that he had no choice but to respond. Amelia had been delighted over the last week to have someone little to play with, and Poe realized that, as much as she loved Meghan, it must have been hard to relate to a sister almost a decade older than her.

While the kids were distracted in the back, Finn reached for Poe’s hand across the front seat. “I don’t know if I can bring myself to not be angry at her for leaving him behind, and I don't think I'll ever understand.  But I think you're right, I think she must have loved him. But you don't, you can't just leave behind the ones you love.”

“I think if we completely understood her reasoning, we'd be in trouble. But she's not the villain.”

“No, she's not the villain.”

Visiting the hospital became a sort of horrible routine, in that Caleb always wanted to go, and never wanted to leave. Sometimes Finn took him, sometimes Poe took him, but it never got any better.

In early October, on their seventh visit, though, Poe and Finn were idly thumbing through their phones while Caleb lay with his mother, when loud alarms started to sound from the equipment. Poe sprang up, pulling Caleb away as several nurses ran in. He hurried out of the room, Finn behind him, as Caleb started to cry. Finn held out his arms and Poe transferred him, knowing Finn was the best at soothing the boy.  He went back to the room, hovered at the entrance, and watched as the hospital staff worked hard to save the life of someone who’d been determined to take it. In the end, Celia’s disease won. Poe knew his cheeks were wet, acknowledged that he was crying over the death of a woman he’d never even really met. When most of the staff cleared out, Poe stepped back in and took Celia’s hand. “I want you to know we’ll keep Caleb safe. He’s not alone anymore. I hope that brings you peace.” Poe retrieved the picture of Celia and Caleb, and walked out to find Finn.

\--------------------------

Poe felt the bench creak slightly as Finn sat next to him. He’d come out to talk to his parents at their trees after reading Amelia to sleep. Finn circled an arm around his waist, and he leaned over, leaned into his husband’s comfort. “I don’t think I’m sad she died. I think I’m sad because she could have lived, maybe, if someone had just been there for her somewhere along the way,” he confessed.

Finn’s fingers stroked his hair. “We don’t know that.”

“I have to believe that, have to believe that people can make a difference in each others lives.”

Finn’s voice was low. “You know they do. But you can’t make a difference in everyone’s lives. You can’t take it all on yourself, Poe.”

Poe took a deep breath. “I know you’re right. I want to work with a group, maybe set up some type of reintegration program for vets here on the farm. I mean, I know we couldn’t take a lot of people, but we could provide an income, and a safe place with understanding people.”

“Organa’s Organics, home of rescues and strays.”

“Something like that. I want to start by getting involved with the veteran community, figuring out what they need from the inside rather than offering something they don’t from the outside.” Poe sat up, plans cycling through his head.

Finn pulled him closer for a kiss. “I love you, you brave, beautiful human being.”

They stood and walked hand in hand toward the house. Finn sighed. “How do we help a two year old grieve?”

“One day at a time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this was a lot darker than I normally do, and I hope to return to some more fluffy subjects after this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for leaving comments and kudos. I love seeing what you guys think.
> 
> I'm @animalasaysrauer on tumblr. Right now I'm obsessed with stormpilot, Captive Prince, and Check Please, and I like to post things I find amusing about my daily life. DFTBA!


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